How to Fake Sick to the School Nurse, Career Near Me

How to Fake Sick to the School Nurse, Career Near Me

Sometimes you just need a break from school, but your parents won't let you stay home in the morning. Maybe you forgot to study for a quiz or you just want to go home and chill out. Whatever your reasons, with a little planning, you can successfully trick the school nurse into believing you’re sick. Start by picking which illness you want to fake, and then show your "symptoms" to the nurse. Just remember that while it’s okay to take a break every once in a while, it’s important to attend class regularly and try to succeed.

Method 1 Choosing Your Illness in Advance.
1. Try to figure out what illnesses will get you sent home. Simply complaining that you generally don’t feel well won’t likely get you sent home. Most schools have a set of guidelines that nurses follow to know when a kid needs to go home. Ask your friends what was wrong with them last time they were in the nurse’s office. You can also pay attention to any newsletters that your school sends home about student illnesses. Typically, a school will send you home if you.
Have a fever, Have diarrhea, Have vomited.
2. Choose an illness that’s been going around so it's more convincing. Another good option is to pay attention to whether or not any of your classmates have been sick. If there is an illness that has been passed around your school, you will probably have a pretty easy time convincing the nurse that you’ve contracted it.
Ask your friends who have been sick recently what symptoms they had. Make a mental note to include those when you talk to the nurse.
Add a personal connection, if you can. Try, “I have a terrible sore throat. I did spend the night at Joey’s over the weekend. I hope I didn’t catch whatever he has.”
3. Commit to faking 1 illness. Don’t plan to lay it on too thick. If you complain of too many things, the nurse might get suspicious. For example, don’t complain of diarrhea, a sore throat, and earache, body aches, and coughing. The nurse probably won’t believe that you’re really dealing with all of that. Instead, focus on 1 illness.
If you want to fake stomach problems, for example, you could complain of cramping in your stomach and diarrhea.
4. Complain of common symptoms if you just want to take a rest. If your goal is not to get sent home, you’ll probably have an easier time convincing the nurse that you’re sick. If you just want to take some time out from class (maybe because you forgot to do the homework), aim to just get the nurse to let you rest in their office for a bit.
You could try saying, “I have a pounding headache. I think it would really help if I could just be in here for a while where it is quiet.”

Method 2 Laying the Groundwork.
1. Ask the nurse for cough drops or other medicine in the morning. Stop by the nurse’s office before school starts or in between classes. Mention that you’re not feeling great and ask for some over the counter medication. If you’re planning to claim a sore throat, ask for cough drops. If you’re going to fake stomach issues, ask for an antacid.
Going to the nurse preemptively will show the nurse that you’re gradually getting worse throughout the day. It will also demonstrate that you have already tried to feel better and stay in class.
2.; Get permission to go to the bathroom during class. This will help show that you haven’t felt well. That way, if the nurse checks with your teacher, they’ll learn that you’ve already had to be excused during class.
If you’re planning to claim stomach troubles, you can say, “I’m not doing well. I even had to run to the bathroom during History class.”
Try coughing before asking to leave class if you are going to fake a cold.
3. Text your parents to say you are going to see the nurse. If your school allows you to use your phone between classes, let your parents know that you aren’t feeling well. That way, if the nurse does call them, they won’t sound surprised. This will increase your credibility with the nurse.
You can also plant this seed by telling your parents that you aren’t feeling great before you leave for school. Just a simple, “I’m so tired today and I’m getting a sore throat,” should do the trick.
4. Return to the nurse and complain that your symptoms are worse. By now you’ve left a trail of evidence that you’re not feeling well. Head to the nurse and explain the situation to them, reminding them that you already stopped by earlier.
Say, “I don’t think those cough drops you gave me earlier are working. My sore throat is getting worse, and I really don’t feel well.”
If you want to be excused early in the morning, you’ll have to speed this process up. Drop hints to your parents, stop by the nurse’s office right when you get to school, and then asked to be excused shortly after your first class starts.

Method 3 Convincing the Nurse You are Sick.
1. Describe diarrhea and gas if you are faking stomach problems. Most people don’t like to admit that they are having diarrhea. Including embarrassing details like this will help convince the nurse that you are telling the truth. They’ll likely think no one would be willing to own up to that information if it wasn’t true!
You can say, “I don’t really feel like I can sit through class. I already had to run to the bathroom earlier today. I was so embarrassed that I had to interrupt Mr. Carlson to ask permission.”
2. Fake a fever to go home immediately. In most school districts, a fever is an indicator that you should be sent home. Once you get to the nurse’s office, be ready to make your temperature seem higher than it is. Doing the following will help.
Claim to feel tired. Fevers can make you drowsy.
If you are lying down on a cot, rub your face on the pillow if the nurse leaves the room for a moment. This will make you look flushed.
Ask to use the bathroom. Swish warm water in your mouth to make your mouth warmer.
Cough into your hands and lick your palms. This will make them feel clammy, which indicates a fever.
3. Complain of a headache if you just want to lay down. If you’re looking to just miss a class or 2, faking a simple headache might be the way to go. Many nurses might not be willing to send you home without clear evidence that you’re sick, but most are likely to let you rest in their office for a while.
Try saying that your head is aching and that you would like to rest.
Keep in mind that while this might work once or twice, a good nurse will definitely get suspicious if you pull this too often.
4. Wait for the nurse to suggest calling your parents. If you ask to go home, the nurse might suspect that you are just trying to get out of school. Instead, just describe your symptoms. Let them ask you if you would like them to call your parents.
You can say, “Yeah, I guess that’s a good idea. I told them earlier that I wasn’t feeling well. They’re probably wondering how I’m doing.”

FAQ.

Question : What if my parents make me drink medicine?
Answer : Your parents aren't going to make you drink anything that will harm you. For example, if you faked a cough and they want you to take cough medicine, it's not going to make you sick.
Question : What if the school nurse will not let me leave
Answer : Unfortunately, you'll have to stay at school If it is a real emergency, call your parents and ask them to speak to the nurse on your behalf.
Question : My school nurse comes to the classroom instead of me coming to him, what should i do?
Answer : You can still use the same steps. Just understand that you're going to have to describe your symptoms in front of your classmates.
Question : Could I say I'm on my period and I'm cramping really bad and can't concentrate?
Answer : Yes, this would definitely be a good option. Make sure to be specific when you detail how you are feeling.
Question : what if they say you don't have a fever and they say come back when if it gets worse
Answer : You'll have to go back to class if that happens. Faking sick does not always work, so you can't count on it.
Question : How do I fake throwing up?
Answer : Don't try to fake throwing up in the nurse's office. That's too complicated, and it's also unnecessary. Just say you feel like you're going to throw up and leave it at that.
Question : How can I fake an illness that will cause her to send me home right away?
Answer : Say that you feel dizzy or light-headed, or say that you have a bad headache and the lights in the classroom are making it worse.
Question : What can I do if I already visited the nurse's office?
Answer : Go back. Tell them you're feeling so sick that you can't concentrate. They should let you go home.
Question : What can I do in order to pretend I have diarrhea?
Answer : Hold your abdomen and go to the bathroom as frequently as possible, even if you don't have to go. Stay in the restroom longer than usual.
Question : What if the school nurse/my mom finds out that I'm not sick?
Answer : You might get in trouble. But as long as you don't try to fake any specific illness, you'll probably be fine. They cannot PROVE that your stomach doesn't hurt, you don't have a headache, etc. Just don't do anything silly like suddenly feel perfectly fine because you want to go outside and play.

Tips.
Don't make it a habit of faking sick. It's important to be in class when you can.
If you're trying to avoid school for a particular reason, try talking to your parents about whatever is bothering you. They might be able to help.